I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
