my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
