I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
