You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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