i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
