my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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