I want to stick my p in your. b.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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