so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
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Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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