i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
