people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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