so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
