saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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