my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize