I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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