Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
