My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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