If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize