The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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