Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
