He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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