think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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