problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
