whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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