apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
