God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
