last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just googled if crying burns calories
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
