the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
