oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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