Do you still have your period?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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