What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
