If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize