I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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