when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i've created a new STD.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
