I'm really into asian looking animals
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
