I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
