I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
