go do what you do best...puke behind churches
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
