I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
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you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
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I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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