I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize