Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
