I must be too annoying 4 u.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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