I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
