wanna go halves on a baby?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
