It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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