Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
