Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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