I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
