Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
