So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Can I color on your dick again?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I came so hard my ears popped.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
