i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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