it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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