Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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