covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Randomize
