I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize