U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
nutella sex= disaster
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
