You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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