Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
