Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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