Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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