the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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